Friday, January 4, 2013

You Be the G.M.?


Two Bits
Four Bits
Six Bits
A Dollar
All for the Cowboys
Stand Up and Hollar!

Anyone? Anyone? (sit down Jerry...)


In the 7th grade, I was a cheerleader for the Keiser Yellowjackets. Thus began my love of football.  Is there anything better? Cheering on the hometown crowd. Bleachers packed tight on a chilly autumn night. 

College is my favorite (Arkansas & Baylor), followed by high school. And for a while, the Dallas Cowboys. 

My first job out of college was a lowly secretarial job at Bright Banc. The most fascinating thing about Bright Banc—it was owned by H. R. "Bum" Bright, who more importantly owned THE Dallas Cowboys. America's team. God's team. Everyone knew God watched from the hole in the stadium roof.

I was thrilled to be in such close proximity to the Cowboys (and God). One of my most enviable duties was ordering food for the owner's suite at Texas Stadium. Yessiree! I had arrived from simple farm girl to ordering chicken wings for important folks invited to Bum Bright's suite each Sunday.

With my Baylor economics degree, I was well qualified to count cases of beer and insure the bar was stocked with those little pearl onions. 

I remember the fateful day Jerry Jones rode the bank elevator to the top floor to consummate his purchase of the Dallas Cowboys. Since that day, nothing has been the same.

Gone was gentlemanly Tom Landry, but change was needed, right?


photo courtesy of The Unticket www.unticket.com














Insert Jerry Jones and the greatness of Jimmy Johnson with his skillful draft picks, including Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Darren Woodson. The team's record steadily improved until the Cowboys won back-to-back Super Bowls. God smiled on America's team and Dallas once again.

Everyone smiled until Jerry overplayed his drunken hand declaring "any one of 500 coaches could have won those Super Bowls." Really Jerry? 

Really? 

And lickety split, gone was the miracle of Jimmy Johnson. In came the clown, Barry Switzer. The Cowboys managed to win one final Super Bowl riding the wave of the team amassed by Jimmy. Now God can't even find JerryWorld, filled with draft choices Kavika Pittman and Quincy Carter, along with free agents Pacman Jones and Headcase T.O.

Now, after the latest meltdown, cutie patootie Tony Romo is being burned in effigy, his jersey shredded and defaced, the radio talk shows abuzz. Jerry sits in his gazillion dollar Death Star suite, puffed up like an Arkansas bullfrog while childlike Tony skulks around on the sidelines, his slouchy Cowboy knit hat pulled down low, the ball on top bouncing in contrast. Somehow I get the feeling Tony would be happier playing for pizza on an Italian football team...

Jerry announced again There.Will.Be.Change. (By God). More change. Uncomfortable change. Change to get the Cowboys to 'The Tournament' (the playoffs?) again, someday. Like what kind of change? A new quarterback? A new coach? A bigger, better, brighter "stagium"? 

Maybe, just maybe, Jerry will hire a real general manager who can lead the team to a Super Bowl victory. There must be at least 500 out there.

talya

Musical Pairing:

Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys, Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson

Bonus:

Fake Jerry and Fired Wade Phillips - The Ticket   (If you like this one, check out Fake Jerry: You Be the G.M.) And what's not to like about Fake Jerry?

p.s. Did I mention, I have a new favorite team?






7 comments:

  1. Okay, so we go through the usual ritual where I say, "There's a blog" and Tom says, "okay, let's hear it" and then he proceeds to give me the rundown on football and what it's about! Woe is me! I've told you before I am not a sports fan but I knew he would understand and of course he does. Tom says, "I don't think the Cowboys were ever America's team. It's the Green Bay Packers! Of course I am a Packer's fan but I do like the Cowboys. I really enjoy your blogs as much as Colene does. The only two people I know of that packed a gun on an airplane was Barry Switzer and your mother." Ha ha

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    1. Haha, thanks Tom (and Colene). Yes, Barry is in good company in the area of toting guns through airport security. And I suppose everyone thinks their team is God's favorite...:)

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  2. We need Jerry to be humble and give up the general manager job, but that's like getting the Congress to agree on anything! Great blog!

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  3. My husband is a die hard Gator fan. As for me, I could care less. However, if the Gator's lose he mopes and is miserable; so, GO GATORS!

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  4. Oh, wow. Please tell me that photo of the worst toupee EVER is photoshopped. Please.

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  5. Well, I'm a Hog and Pittsburgh Steelers fan...sorry about the latter, but I just can't help it!=) I really enjoyed read this post, Talya, and for us guys, it's a fun respite from the more femininesque posts!=) Jerry Jones' blunder statement that led to Jimmy Johnson's departure was a boneheaded thing to say, and it reminds me of me quite a bit, as I usually open my mouth long enough to change feet!=) As bad as Jones' statement was, or is, it's still not as big a blunder as Frank Broyles' hiring of Ken Hatfield over Jimmy Johnson back in the 80's. Johnson got his revenge when his Miami Hurricanes beat the Hogs in Little Rock, 51-7. I was there and got to watch this massacre in person. Anyhow, Jimmy Johnson is a heckuva coach, he still has my respect despite his acting in commercials.=) Have a great day, and keep up the great posts! I look forward to reading your work, everyday!

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