Welcome to AT&T U-Verse. To continue in English, press 1. Para Espanol, press 2. For a list of other languages, press 3.
3. Holy Crap! (Hang up. Re-dial…)
Welcome to AT&T U-Verse. To continue in English, press 1. Para Espanol…
Thank you. I see you are calling from 214-xxx-0000. Is this the phone number listed on your AT&T account? Press 1 for yes. 2 for no.
Thank you. To better direct your call, I’ll need your nine digit ban number. Press or say your ban number. Or say “I don’t know it.”
I don’t know it. (Ban number? What the heck’s a ban number?)
Okay let me look it up.
Now, I’ll need to get a bit of information to better direct your call. Say the reason for your call. You may say something like “I’d like to make a payment” or “I’d like to check my balance.”
I’d like to speak to a human being.
Sorry? I didn’t get that. I’ll need a general reason for your call. To make a payment press or say 1, for account balance press or say 2, for technical support press or say 3, for new service press or say 4, for a change of service press or say 5, for order status press or say 6, for billing press or say 7, to disconnect service press or say 8.
I’d. Like. To. Speak. To. A. Human. Being. (I’m tempted to say EIGHT and be done with it…)
That department is closed. Please call back during regular business hours. Thank you for using AT&T.
Grace Grits and Gardening