I do not like to shop for clothes. Books, plants, vintage china, yes. Clothes or shoes, no. But sometimes a girl needs a new pair of jeans. My favorite pair of jeans—the jeans I can buy without trying on—are Long and Lean from The Gap. Not because I’m long or lean—in fact I’m becoming shorter and fatter every day. They just fit. Years ago, Oprah turned me on to them, devoting a show to these jeans that fit like a glove. The jeans every woman could wear…
Inside the mall, three people. All walkers, zero shoppers. (In contrast, the Barnes & Noble across the highway looked packed—my kind of city.)
Retail Man: They’ve been discontinued.
Retail Man: (silent)
Me: DISCONTINUED???? Why?
Retail Man: I’m not sure but there is a new jean basically the same. (way too cheerful)
Me: I doubt it.
Retail Man: You’ll probably like it better – It’s a bit skinnier through the thigh. Like this is a good thing??? (I saw him automatically glance at my fat thighs…)
Me: Oh great.
p.s. I did NOT like the “new-basically-the-same-a-bit-skinnier-in-the-thigh-jean”… Not one bit.