Yesterday, if I’d stumbled upon a genie bottle with a real live genie inside, I’d have rubbed it, as one does, and when the genie floated out in a stream of purple vapor, I would have wished for only one thing.
My very own Geek.
Oh, what I would have given for the Geek Squad to pull up to my curb and spend a few hours with me and my slowing dying MacBook. I had almost reached the point of hurling it into the back yard, but I couldn’t because it contains so much of my life.
And how pitiful does that sound?
But it’s true. My life right now is wrapped up in my writing and photos and information crammed on my filled-to-the-brim hard drive that I can’t get under control no matter how many times I run the Clean My Mac program.
Because I’m no Geek.
Not about technology, anyway.
According to Merriam-Webster, the full definition of Geek is:
1: a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake;
2: a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked;
3: an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity.
Really, Webster? The first definition involves biting the head off a live chicken?
Just for grins I dictionaried geek at Urban Dictionary, because let’s face it, Urban Dictionary typically includes real-life definitions of any word or phrase.
Yup. As I expected.
Geek: The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult. (Urban Dictionary)
See, this is what happens. I begin writing about my computer woes and end up inside the rabbit hole of Urban Dictionary learning new and interesting vocabulary. Such as dictionaried. It’s a word. Look it up.
Anyway. I’m taking an online class through the University of Iowa, and an online class involves a working computer. So I can’t leave my Mac at the official Mac store for a proper analysis or drop it off to spend a few days with the magical Geek Squad.
Whine. Whine. Whine.
(Also called whineage and whinebagging per Urban Dictionary.)
So I called Best Buy to order up my very own Geek. But Geeks are evidently in great demand and the first available Geek couldn’t come to my house for days.
Because they’re all booked up at the state fair?
(Chicken head anyone?)
Change of plans.
I was forced to put aside what I intended to work on and attend to the annoying circle of death swirling on my computer. You know, that spinning rainbow circle that really should be solid black?
I read articles and dug into the bowels of files. I uninstalled dictionaries in Chinese and Russian and deleted documents automatically backed up every second since 2012. I scrubbed my hard drive to the measly tune of 10GB which is at least enough space for me to work another day.
I still need my very own Geek because no matter how hard I try, I’m not one. Until I find one, I plan to set aside a few hours every week to do all these things I’ve been neglecting.
Moral of this story:
We do what we must because we can.
Grace Grits and Gardening
Farm. Food. Garden. Life.
Portal – Still Alive